712 Hayes: Jeremy Goes To Outer Space (S1 EP2)
Episode 3 gets a little weird. 

712 Hayes: Jeremy Goes To Outer Space (S1 EP2)

Episode 2 features my roommate Jeremy and a wild conspiracy theory that he was on board with. It's crazier than you think.

Mustafa Shaikh
7 min read

Episode 2 features my roommate Jeremy and a wild conspiracy theory that he was on board with. It's crazier than you think.

Only about four months after moving into 712 Hayes, another room opened up. Unfortunately, Stacey, the roommate that I had grown the closest with, had decided to move out to live with her boyfriend.

With a vacant room, I maneuvered to get my good friend Jeremy into 712 Hayes. Jeremy and I had met at Berkeley, and we had been living fairly close to each other in the East Bay before I moved to San Francisco.

While there was some initial hesitation from the roommates on bringing in a friend of mine into the apartment, after living with him, they all are very happy to have crossed paths with Jeremy.

On many wavelengths, he’s one of the more at peace humans you will come across. In the words of my friend Shoshana, Jeremy has “a long view of life and a short view of the moment.”

That long view on life is key to many of Jeremy’s traits; the one that stands out to me the most is how much of a free thinker he is. He’s not going to be boxed into an opinion just because everyone else in the room is of a certain mindset. He’s open to getting information from a variety of sources and arriving at a conclusion he finds satisfactory on his timeline. By the same token, when new information enters the equation, he’s willing to step off his original stance and come to a new conclusion.

Nothing illustrates this trait better than Jeremy’s beliefs about extraterrestrial life. He, like many people, believes that aliens are out there. He often does deep dives to the corners of the internet to learn more about their existence. (My take: there’s no way you’re telling me there are billions of planets out there and only earth has life. Not necessarily saying there are intelligent life forms out there who are hellbent on colonizing Earth, but there’s something out there.)

From time to time, Jeremy has taken that baseline belief and gone in some interesting directions, to say the least. One afternoon we were watching TV with our friend Phil, and his sister, Lauren. Something about Mars popped up on the telly, which provided a launching pad for Jeremy.

“You know there might be colonies on Mars. People living there and some native life too.”

Well, this was a way to spice up a ho-hum Saturday afternoon. After some inquiries on our parts, Jeremy went further.

“From what I read, there are also raptors currently on Mars.”

Yes, raptors. Like Jurassic Park III raptors. Lauren and I were dying laughing, while Phil entertained Jeremy’s proposal.

A couple of weeks later Jeremy and I were hanging with our buddy Alex at his Lower Haight apartment.

“So Alex, did you hear about how Jeremy thinks there are raptors on Mars? But not like fossils. Like these raptors are alive and active.”

“Jeremy, what? You think there are raptors on Mars?

“Yeah. This CIA source has come out and shared information about raptors on Mars. He has proof as well about their existence.”

Alex was processing this revelation when Jeremy upped the ante.

“You know Obama has been to Mars,” Jeremy said matter-of-factly without a tinge of humor.

“What did you say,” I responded.

“Obama has been to Mars.”

“What are you talking about,” Alex chimed in. “Obama hasn’t been to Mars.”

“He has. The same CIA source who revealed the information about the raptors has come out and publicly shared details of the program that Obama was part of. He even went to Mars with Obama.”

“How would he even get to Mars though,” I asked. “Come on now, what are we even talking about here?”

“The CIA has jump rooms that Obama was using. He was part of a group of teenagers who were sent there on a covert operation. He was being groomed to become president at a very early age.”

I can’t stress enough how plainly Jeremy was saying this information. You would think at the very least he would be saying it with a laugh, as if to communicate, “Trust me. I know this sounds ridiculous, but this is what I believe to be true!”

But, no. He was just stone cold. This is the truth. The truth is no laughing matter.

Alex and I meanwhile are howling in his face. I don’t know which revelation was more improbable—that teleportation technology existed, Obama was playing hooky in high school to go to Mars, or that dinosaurs are kicking it on the red planet—but they all seemed ludicrous.

“You guys can go read about it online,” Jeremy implored us. “It has all been revealed by this guy who used to work at the CIA.”

And that's exactly what I did. As I found out, the conspiracy theory was even more bizarre than what Jeremy was filling us in on.

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